googoo@infinitz

Glenn Ong says

2006-03-13T23:19:00.000+08:00

he thinks that brokeback mountain is trying to tell gays that there would be no good ending for them. so they should stop continuing such relationships to prevent themselves from ending up like the 2 guys in the show?

i always lurve this guy's opinion on things.

just one thing....i thought cowboys always prey on the female sheeps? no?

bah bah MEH sheep.......

Oasis rocks

2006-03-03T12:07:00.000+08:00

It was somewhere in JC1...when ah jin first told me to sample their "What's the story morning glory" album....its good...listen to them....

I did not. stubborn as usual....haha

it was only much later then did i started listening to them...
i went to get their first album definitely maybe and man....they are gd....

performed their songs with my band mates at our guitar concert as well...cool

it has been a mighty long love relationship with oasis....and i am glad it still feels good even today. i went to their concert on the 23rd Feb...and yes, who cares if they call themselevs god coz they are really that gd!!!!!!

Live Forever!!!!!!!

2006-03-03T10:41:00.000+08:00

Arena

(known to self and others)

accepting, modest, patient

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

calm, caring, dependable, friendly, happy, idealistic, independent, knowledgeable, logical, mature, observant, reflective, sensible, trustworthy, wise, witty

Façade

(known only to self)

bold, organised, sympathetic

Unknown

(known to nobody)

able, adaptable, brave, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, dignified, energetic, extroverted, giving, helpful, ingenious, intelligent, introverted, kind, loving, nervous, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, tense, warm

Dominant Traits

60% of people think that infinitz is dependable
60% of people think that infinitz is logical
60% of people think that infinitz is observant

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (20%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (20%) caring (20%) cheerful (0%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (0%) dependable (60%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (20%) giving (0%) happy (20%) helpful (0%) idealistic (20%) independent (20%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (0%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (20%) logical (60%) loving (0%) mature (40%) modest (20%) nervous (0%) observant (60%) organised (0%) patient (40%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (20%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (20%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (20%) warm (0%) wise (20%) witty (20%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 3.3.2006, using data from 5 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view infinitz's full data.

cancer??????

2006-02-25T15:56:00.000+08:00

You Should Be A Cancer

What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous

What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand

In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection

In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support

Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure

Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood

You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese

What Sign Should You Be?

parking at my workplace

2006-01-08T15:49:00.000+08:00

days pass quickly, my work can be overwhelming at times...i have made up my mind to drive to work starting next month...now parking would haveto be sorted out soon. the choices range from $150 to $250 a month. i should be parking somewhere near...that would cost me about $200 a month. people tell me the lots are in high demand...i hope i can get one though.

2005 in retrospect

2005-12-31T14:51:00.000+08:00

I had this chat in the car with my ex-work buddy, Ernest last week. He had remarked that this year has certainly been nothing short of being an amazing year for me.

It was not too long ago that I was trying to get myself drunk silly almost everyday...of coz Ernest being the loyal buddy that he is...willingly oblige everytime. My treat, his treat....many cans and bottles later....we are keeping 7-11's cash register ringing all night long....haha Not only this, we also frequent all the pubs and coffee houses...

Well...After all, it has been a difficult start to the year for me, getting dumped from a relationship of almost 4 years long. Furthermore, my last job isn't exactly getting along very well either, hence it all adds to the misery.

My life found some balance a few months later when I met yellow m&m and things suddenly started to be on the up for me. I applied for and was subsequently offered a job as a central dealer in a fund management house. MY DREAM JOB!!!!!!!!! I really could not believe it and till today I am still basking in the wonder of it all.

After being welcomed into the industry, I realise I am probably the youngest central dealer in the entire industry. All my peers are about 5-10 yrs my senior or even more....yeah, I have become the "baby" of the industry but hell....what an ugly and weird "baby" I am. haha

Not forgetting my lovely car. Finally, I manage to get it after so many months of deliberation and endless blogging about it. Now, I spend my saturday's morning pampering it affectionately to the dismay of yellow m&m and my mum. Well....have I mentioned before that I love cars......oops.....

Work has been hectic at times, long hours are the norm. I work a 55hr, 5 days week, but luckily for me, it has been financially rewarding. I have been guilty of indulging in RAOUL shirts as well....what wonderful shirts they have over there...i cannot resist not buying them most of the times....lovely....

Btw, I once heard this theory about how to judge a guy. Some ignorant gal once said that she would never look at a guy who is also taking the MRT train with her no matter how handsome looking he is. ???? Don't get it? It is simple. If a guy has to take the train, that guy is certainly not rich enough......dud.......well.....I really wonder what goes on in this gal's pathetic brain but I do not wish to know though.

I am planning to drive to work next year. It makes it easier for me to get home after work. The hours are not going to get any shorter anyway....so it would be good if I can drive home in the comfort of my car rather than be look down upon by some silly gal in the MRT.

2006 would be better for everyone.

Cheers! Hoeggarden anyone? no?? Kilkenny? Bailey? ohhh...that is nice....
PS...Ern, have one on me.

very very busy

2005-12-11T09:54:00.000+08:00

work has been really busy.....
sat mornings are mostly spent washing the car....
weekends spent mostly with family and yellow m&m....

weekdays mostly working late....
dinners usually after 9pm....
company invites to parties.....
drinking sessions and free booze......

bonus coming......
i hope it is going to be a good one...
pay rise in january....
a better year ahead?
i really cannot really ask for anything more than what is aleady a wonderful one this year...

the ring on my finger....

2005-10-20T21:16:00.000+08:00

all my colleagues have been enquiring about the ring i have on my finger...and no...for the umpteenth time....no...i am not married.....and no to your second concern too....i am not a gay too...hahaha

ok...so can i wear the ring because i want to remind myself of my wonderful girlfriend? no...frankly, i do not care if you mind or not either....

and everyone...pls listen to class 95FM....they rock....

2005-10-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: February 4

Being born on the 4th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer.
You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize.
Sincere and honest, you are a serious and hard working individual.

Your feelings are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times.
The number 4 has something of an inhibiting effect on your ability to show and express affections, as feeling are very closely regulated and controlled.
You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details.
There is a good deal of rigidity and stubbornness associated with the number 4.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

car washing & polishing

2005-10-02T14:12:00.000+08:00

this is officially my favourite past time for now over the weekend...haha i cannot bear seeing my car being "scratched" by the huge brushes at the automated car wash... the ultimate heartache and nightmare...argh...nightmare at the car wash not on elm street though...haha

i wow to clean and polish my car for as long as i live. sounds good enough for a promise? who cares if it sounds gd...it is a pact between the car and me...haha

water, sponge and polish, get ready...go!!!

the car is dirty again......

2005-09-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

i really cannot stand seeing the car being dirty but i do not have a choice....why does it have to rain so frequently?

fetching michelle from work

2005-09-27T21:37:00.000+08:00

i wasted quite a bit of petrol trying to navigate around the thomson/novena area...probably would not be the first time though....everything looks so simple and clear cut on the street directory but it is anything but straight forward when you are on the road trying to figure out which turn to take....

i think it would help if i should take the car out for spins whenever possible to explore the roads...

mic seems to like the car and she was very encouraging whenever i missed a turn and have to do u-turns....and the car is so quiet that mic actually fell asleep as i drove her around....or maybe she was juzt plain tired from her work...haha

probably the last weekend mrt ride

2005-09-18T15:14:00.000+08:00

as most of you already know....because of geographical reasons...i spend quite a lot time travelling on the MRT on weekends...sending mic all the way to bukit batok and getting back home..."time trials" confirmed the whole process takes about 3 hours...

this is partly the reason i meet up with mic at most once a week and the other reason being her irregular shift work...coupled with my long working hours, it just make it impossible for us to meet more than a paltry once a week.

mic actually likes the long train rides back to her place...but unfortunatlely, we would not be on the train too often on weekends from this week on...with the car, i would probably need to take just 1 hr to go to bukit batok and back...there could even be times where i can go fetch her off work when she knock off late...

cheers.

stilll got to hang in there...

2005-09-14T22:51:00.000+08:00

the expected delivery date is 22th this month.....so just got to hang on for a while more....

The COE was gd

2005-09-09T23:49:00.000+08:00

can't wait to lay my hands on the car.....

coe bidding

2005-09-04T00:27:00.000+08:00

i enter this week with my eyes firmly on wednesday's coe bidding....i hope the price would fall.....so I can get a rebate....dream on?

pray for me....cheers kilkenny rocks.

wasted 60cents

2005-09-02T21:45:00.000+08:00

i voted for kelly in the superstar competition last night. very disappointing, everyone must have thought kelly would be winning fo sure given the high scores awarded by the judges and hence did not bother to call in...

that is so wrong a thinking...maYBE I should consider participating next year....hahhaha

the final choice

2005-08-28T21:49:00.000+08:00

it came down to korean style versus japan quality. paying less for the korean make or forking slightly more for the japanese heritage. I finally chose to opt for the latter , somehow I believe there is no fee lunch in this world, what you pay would be what you get.

what i can do now would be to wait patiently for the COE bidding in the first week of September. I hope everything goes on smoothly as planned and the car can be delievered on time.

gotta find a name for the car now...any ideas guys?

Car Fiesta

2005-08-25T22:10:00.000+08:00

I went to the 2 car roadshow over the weekend, manage to take a second look at the new KIA Rio. It did not give the same feeling I had when I first saw it and something certainly did not make feel right the moment i sit into the car. I knock against the ceiling of the car! It's more older cousin, the Cerato did not fare any better. The headroom for these 2 cars seems really lacking.

My gut feeling tells me something is not so right the moment I had my hand on the gear shift. Both cars did not give me the "feel" I was subconciously searching for, maybe this could be due to the fact that I have had my hands on other cars before.

I went with my gut feeling when it came to things like getting a car. Some people might not agree with my choice but my gut feeling tells me otherwise. Now for the COE bidding.

Kilkenny rocks

2005-08-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

dumb me...this is actually the first time i have tasted kilkenny and IT ROCKS!!!!!! I had 3 glasses and i must be smelling like a drunk all the way back on the train. No worries...company pays and everyone in the company must attend....but they also make it compulsory for us to wear a name tag. never mind...the kilkenny still rocks!!!!!

3 important women who changed my life in the past 12 mths

2005-08-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

I looked back on the past 12 months of my life and I realise there has been a very drastic turn of events. It all started with the breakup of me and my girlfriend of nearly 4 yrs, this was certainly the darkest point of my life as I slogged through day after day being the angry and bitter person I have become. Aiming to buy a car became a ready distraction for me as I try to re-priortise my objectives in life.

I started saving for my car and as I look at the amount grow month by month, it gave me a certain level of fulfillment in an otherwise aim-less life. Until I met michelle, it was all about surfing the internet to check out all the cars and reading reviews about them. Michelle was different from someone I use to know, she always gave me encouragement in whatever I do. Suddenly, the world seems less cold with a person who cares about me as a person, in turn giving me a much clearer direction in life.

I never could imagine things getting any better than this, but wonders do take place, well, at least for myself. A job opportunity came along and I was selected by my boss who gave me a brand new career in the fund management arena which I have so dearly carved for. I really cannot thank my lucky stars enough...somehow all the bad luck which had plagued me the last few years have also left me following the departure of "someone".

So here is one for the 3 important woman in my life the past 12 months, MY EX, Michelle and MY BOSS...I cannot thank you 3 enough!

Internal Audit

2005-08-13T16:18:00.000+08:00

I have cleared the internal audit (aka My Mum) and the go ahead has been given if I should want to get a car. There remains 3 choices of cars to crack my head on, mitsubishi lancer, suzuki liana hatchback or the new kia rio hatch.

I must say I am very impressed by the new Rio hatch, the interior is french designed and it has a classy touch and not the "plastic" feel in the old rio. The beige leather blends in well with the dash board and side doors, all appropriately coloured beige. It gives the driver nd passenger a very continental feel. I cannot believe my eyes as to how the new rio has been transformed by the French designers.

The price range is around 47k to 51k depending on 1.4/1.6 or manual/auto. I think it is reasonably priced but the price would slowly fall after the launch. The Lancer cannot compare with the Rio in terms of pricing much less the the fittings in the interior. Everything in the Lancer looks dull and somewhat trapped in a time warp, however, the rio is refreshingly well designed with a dash of gallic flair.

My heart is defintely swayed by the new Rio, could this be love at first sight?

Class 95 fm morning show....

2005-08-05T21:13:00.000+08:00

i simply loved the morning shows hosted by glen and the flying dutchman...forgive me if you see someone bursting out in laughter on the MRT to work...that person could just be me. beats me why i would respond to their crude jokes but they sure are simply funny.

they were at it again this morning, discussing about how shoe sizes would give an indication as to how long a guy's member would be....sad truth for people who happen to be wearing smaller shoe sizes apparently....i do not know how much truth there is to such sweeping statements but i do wear US size 10 so i am not really bothered...haha

it is topics like these that sometimes kick start my lazy and sleepy morning...especially today...the last day of my long and tiring ICT. Cheers to my size 10!

NKF

2005-07-11T22:22:00.000+08:00

Would you still be donating to them if you know how they spent the donations gathered from all those charity shows?

Would you still be donating to them if you know some of the employees brought home a 12 months bonus last year?

Would you still be donating to them if those rumours about lavish toilet renovations were in fact true?

Would any of these give you the slightest hint of something being very wrong in the way the money collected is being managed?

Something for all of us to think about...till the next charity event comes along...that would not be too long for us to reflect since the next charity event is always just round the corner...

fillial piety

2005-07-08T21:57:00.000+08:00

I caught this channel U show today...it was one of those talk show where some young minds were pitted against adults as they debated over some contentious topic. Today's topic was that of having 3 generations living under the same roof and I must say it got everybody really fired up.

Needless to say, all four of the teenage guests were strongly against this notion of living together with their elders. I cannot blame them...they are after all, still relatively young. All of them having grown up in a new age kind of enviroment where handphone rules and sms lingo is the way of life, they certainly see filial piety in a different light to those on the more adult guest panel.

Kenny Yap (of Sesdaq listed QianHu Fish Farm) was one of those TV persona I have always had some respect for. After this show, my respect for him moved up sevral notches....He really impressed me with his reasoning of the need to respect the elders and the importance to maintain harmony throughout the extended families. I can sense his utmost respect for his parents and elders from the way he reasoned with the teenagers on this issue.

He is absolutely right in saying that the elders set an example for the young people to follow and look up to. Without such guidance, the young people would look to their peers to learn how to live their life. The meaning of life as taught by the elders and one's parents can never be substituted by those acquired from friends and acquaintances alike. A child brought up in a family where elders were treated with reverence would also learn to be respectful towards others in the wider society.

Of course, such opinions would always be debatable especially when spoken to rebellious youngsters who seems a little "self centred" and requires everything to revolve around them. The youngsters fired back saying that they need attention and love to be showered on them and not the other way round where they have to be express their love and care for their elders.

Kenny Yap was quick to point out that they are not being realistic since only your lover would shower you with unconditional love and attention but that would rarely be the case after marriage. You can only reminisce on such good times and be pretty sure that your other half would not be bothered to perform any of such armorous antics. It was quite a laugh but I must say this is reality and only teenagers would hold such idealistic opinions.

Living with other people is in itself an important lesson on giving and taking. The relationship would not be balanced if is lop-sided in any way. The way I see it, I would be perfectly happy to stay with my parents and to care for them in their old age. The reasoning is simple, I had been brought up by them to think this way and this is the way I have learnt to live my life. Maybe mine is the outdated way...but 4000 years of Chinese civilisation is precedent proof that it has passed the test of time.

Now lies the challange of making sure it would continue to be passed on to our younger generation and it could stay with any of you.

work has been busy

2005-06-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

I am sorry if I have not been very sociable lately, I am pretty much being consumed by my new work. Leaving the office at 7 30pm is a pretty common occurance and late nights till 8 plus are not unheard of. Maybe, it is because I am slow and still unsure of my work so I tend to take a longer time just to make sure I made no mistakes. And....I would make doubly sure I made no mistakes by checking again....but i still make mistakes...damned.

What an idiot I can be sometimes. The volume of work is quite unlike anything I have seen before and I do get lost in the barrage that comes at me everyday. There are simply just too much to handle sometimes but I am slowly adapting.

I am glad I have a understanding boss and wonderful colleagues who are both willing to teach and guide me along.

Did I mention its Friday again? Cheers....I have white wine....well...this is a small consolation

getting financial representatives to avoid you.....

2005-05-29T20:42:00.000+08:00

I have been working late the past few nights, there is work to be done but that is not the reason i am staying back late. I am preparing for my UK FSA examinations this coming friday, hence the late nights and having to buy my own dinner after work. Which brings me to the point of bumping into all those financial representative who are "stationed" all around the food court at the Tampines EastLink, I am usually not bothered by them. Only the bravest of them would dare to approach me, I happen to look really fierce and unapproachable so they must be really thick skinned to even think of trying to stop me in my path.

On friday, it was a different story altogether. All those who saw me decide against trying t approach me. How did I achieve this feat? haha.....It was easy, I was drinking a can of beer and shopping around the area. I noticed that all those who saw me also took a quick glance at the can of beer I was holding in my hand.

These must have been the sequences that went through their mind in the spilt seconds on acquiring me as their target:
FR: male target acquired
FR: tall, poked face, business wear(got money)
FR: carry businees bag(must be working)
FR: a can of beer?
FR: BACK OFF!! BACK OFF!!!

The beer in the hand ruse worked like a beauty...but i would find it hard to pull something off like this again....haha

I happen to have a can all because it was a friday night and I was too busy with work to consume it in the office. I was determined to drink my "first" can of company provided beer and so I did the unthinkable to shipped it out. By the way, fridays are happy hour evening so there would always be ample supply of wine and beer, isn't this wonderful?

Cheers (hic) FRs beware, drunkard ahead..

me and my lancer dream

2005-05-28T10:33:00.000+08:00

it's saturday!!! my favourite day of the week as i can rummage through the classified section of the papers. silly, of course it is the cars adverts i am interested in, who cares about the plumblers, housing agents and properties for rental that "happen" to be there as well....

my car fund is back to square one....it has been "cruelly" wiped out somehow but i am glad it has been for a good cause. it is a new start, car prices are falling and my friend's grand plan of the coe eventually becomeing zero looks like it is slowly unfolding.

the announcement of imposing charges to all cars entering orchard and other town areas came out last night n the news, that would be sure to give the weak coe market a jolt, sending it to spiral downwards even more. i'm in no condition to get a car now, no way am i ever gonna take up a $1 downpayment scheme, that is financial suicide. i will definitely save up a nice booty before i get my lancer. arh....my lancer dream again.

cheers people, its saturday once again.

Raoul Sale!!!!!!!!!!

2005-05-19T21:16:00.000+08:00

I bought myself 2 Raoul Shirts at the Change Alley Outlet today. I am so happy about it...Thanks to Jo, who informed me about it...haha Even if I am down to my last hundred, I would still spend it on a Raoul shirt. Thats how much I actually like them. I actually could not find a third shirt I like but luckily for me, a lady colleague wanted to get one for her husband. It is selling 3 for $120 so I need 3 pieces to enjoy the discount.

I would drop by again tomolo, see if there are any more bargains to pick up....just how cheapo can I get? I wonder....but who cares!!!!! It is RAOUL!!!!! oh...btw, you people can call me RAOUL. haha

Realised something today, after chatting with mack, my hong kong pen pal winney and bumping into Jo at Raffles place during lunch hour, they all seem to know everything about me and my blogs. I do actually have a loyal following reading my blog. wow...that would make me a mini blogging celebrity. idiot...somebody wake this Raoul from his DREAMS...please....

Enough rubbish now, I need to spend some really decent time studying for my UK exams. I would need to pass it first time so that I can get my UK dealing license approved as quickly as possible. I better do it well, it has been quite a while since I did well at multiple choice questions/exams. Just how silly I can get sometimes or rather just how STUPID can I get?

The exams seems easy but the amount of imformation that would be needed to be memorised is really a lot. Time to put my rusty brain cells to use now, they might need a little oiling perhaps. Hmm....I wonder if the fats I have accumulated could be put to some worthy use here.....haha

CALL ME R A O U L, people!!!

i'm loving it......

2005-05-16T22:20:00.000+08:00

it's kinda boring during lunch time but i cannot really compare. sometimes, you just cannot have the best of everything in life. i have gotten my dream job, surely a little lonliness is bearable...but anyway...i can try to locate long lost friends who might be working in the area and lunch with them.

i went on a shopping spree on sunday with yellow m&m. i bought quite a bit of stuffs but mostly for myself...got a hoobastank cd for yellow m&m, managed to prevent her from paying me back by giving the excuse of me having gotten a pay rise...so i'm getting her something...haha anyway i have already spent quite a bit...surely $20 more would not kill me right.

my boss asked me today if i had a good weekend...i replied her yes. how not to...when u have signed so many items on your debit card...haha

missing my old colleagues......

2005-05-12T21:56:00.000+08:00

I went back to phillip to tie up the ends of resignation and also to collect my service certificate. I took the liberty to go back and see my old colleagues for a while. It felt nostalgic...the thought of them did make me feel sad for a moment.

No more gossiping with xuehua, no more sharing of cold jokes with "dealer" ong, no more discussions of cars with jun wee, no more train rides back with ivan, no more exchanges with liyang about "syndicates", no more of chee meng's fortune telling, no more of chats with joycelyn about pets and cannot disturb lee meng about his favourite miss "X" and not forgetting the "prata supper gang" of kelvin & david.

Sometimes, there are certainly certain things money cannot buy. Friends and memories would be right there at the top of my wish list for the moment.

The New Job Is Good.

2005-05-11T22:13:00.000+08:00

I love it. It has been a huge financial sacrifice on my part to make this career switch but I feel it has been worth it. My car fund took a hit and I missed my performance bonus as well. I must work hard now. The new job is totally different from what I used to do but the challenge now is for me to learn it well. I must make the 2.5k job upgrade worth every cent of it.

Last day at Phillip

2005-05-07T01:47:00.000+08:00

A last day in this chapter and a brand new page on the next chapter. But before that happens, I would need to get myself accustomed to working in the day time so I would try not to sleep today after my last US night shift duty. I need to report for work at 9am on Monday instead of the night timing that I have gotten so used to.

I still could not believe the amazing turn of events over the last 2 weeks. I never had much luck with interviews especially since I spent 6 months trying before I landed myself a permanent job at Phillip. "Somebody" used to look down on me because of this and constantly reminded me of my "under-achievement". I was offered the new job after 3 rounds of interviews and may I add also that it had come really fast and furious. Once I accepted the offer, everything else just happened like a whirlwind.

I signed on the dotted line with my new company on Thursday this week and it was only then did I feel relieved. It is a dream come true for me. A foreign fund management house is actually so keen in me and believes in my abilities so much. I am really flattered.

Capital A for.....most of you guys already know the answer... cheers

Our Late President Mr Wee Kim Wee

2005-05-04T23:07:00.000+08:00

I went to the istana to pay my respects to my favourite president. I had after all shoke his hand a long time ago when I visited the istana during one of the rare open house. Being young and ignorant, I had not realised I had shoke the hands of such an important man at that time. I do feel a bit sad now that he's no longer around, he's such a likeable man. His huge warm smile radiates kindess in every possible direction and maybe thats also partly why so many people went to pay their last respects.

Feeling really sad now....

Accepted the Job Offer

2005-04-26T23:24:00.000+08:00

I accepted the offer to join a foreign fund management house and I would be leaving my present company soon. I do feel a bit sad that I would be leaving my lovely colleagues but I really have to go. This is a chance of a lifetime for me to join a fund managment house, something which I had always been interested in.

A lot of things changed in my personal life during the time I was here in my present company and my colleagues gave me a lot of support which allowed me to carry on. I would definitely miss them.

Yellow m&m met Ern and Jo

2005-04-24T03:23:00.000+08:00

We went for movies on sunday and as we were walking towards to the KIA roadshow at Takashimaya, I caught Ern walking in the opposite direction. He was shocked to see me...well....because i was dressed quite differently...haha

http://www.newradicals.net/

I was dressed something like this.... :) I had always adored the new radicals, their music is way too cool. Btw, I bought the same cap as the one seen on the webby when I was in Taiwan during my NS. The same fishing cap as Gregg Alexander...haha How cool can it get?

During dinner, Ern was speechless, yellow m&m thought I was trendy and Jo said it is good I have new styles coming outta my wardrobe...haha I wore an addidas jacket with beige pants and sneakers plus the fishing cap. A bit passe....considering this was the in-thing to wear 2 years back....but who cares....

I went to check out the KIA Cerato and I kinda like the car...it is much more polished than the Rio which is not as classy. The price tag has fallen considerably over the last few weeks which really makes me wonder why it has been so. Is it because korean cars are not as reliable and they cannot last as long as a toyota or honda?

My dad is totally against the idea of getting a korean car. I cannot really understand the rationale but I guess he must have heard many bad things about how unreliable they can be and the frequent rates at which they break down. But perhaps, the newer korean models are better engineered?

At the end of the day, it would probably boil down to 2 models, Toyota Vios which my dad likes or the Suzuki Liana Hatchback. I would really like to consider the Mitsubishi Lancer but it is going to cost more that the other 2 plus the fuel consumption is really not that fantastic. The dashboard is something I do not like as well, the Mitsubishi engineers probably could not afford to get designers to come up with something nice and re-used their old designs in the new car. What the heck, it looks so old fashioned.

My dad only have eyes on the Vios, a car I do not have a liking for. The meters and dashboard are definitely not the layout I would envisaged in a car. The back passengers do not have much leg room and the external car design looks ugly. My dad keep saying good good....I do not know what is so good about the car. Oh btw, he prefers the Corolla Altis even more. I would not mind the original Corolla but that is way out of my budget.

I prefer the Liana, well, black color of course. haha right...ah jin/barney? The hatchback kind of works for me....My sis says it look like a mini van...it probably does. But hey, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder! I like the slickness inside, it has a pretty design with nice layout...high headroom....the cute looking antenna in the middle of the car. I like the fuel consumption as well....14km/l. There is a small concern though, the car runs on a 1.3l engine carrying a 1.6l body, it might hurt the fuel consumption a little plus the car probably cannot speed up. It looks like a nice family car which I could still be driving a few years down the road.

Yellow m&m has no opinion when it comes to cars, as long as it's got 4 wheels. Her dad drives a very luxurious Ford Mondeo by the way. My mum is even better still, she fell in love with the Honda Accord. A car way out of my league which I wouldn't even dream of owning, at least not for now. I need to be a bit more realistic, money do not grow on trees for me and I do not have a comfy job paying 4k a month. A Liana would do for now but friends and colleagues alike would be screaming at me.....WHAT!?!!? A Liana? Whatever happened to the Lancer?

the story of guy meets gal

2005-04-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

guy meets gal
guy chats with gal
gal communicates with guy
gal shares common interests with guy
guy likes the many virtues he sees in gal
guy starts going on weekly dates with gal

gal thinks well of guy
guy thinks well of gal
gal meets parents' of guy
guy meets parents' of gal
gal enjoys the company of guy
gal learns and understands the guy
guy basks in the company of the gal
guy discover more merits about the gal

gal sees good and bad in guy
gal understands we are all human
guy appreciates the understanding shown
guy is glad for the faith and reciprocrates in kind

differences never will become an issue
which drives those involved apart
differences are communicated and resolved
and crisis are peacefully thwarted
guy sees and starts planning for a future with the gal
gal wants to spend and be part of the future with the guy?
guy thinks it is still too early to tell
but a good start is as good as half the job done

this is the story of guy meets gal

Dinner was good

2005-04-17T23:18:00.000+08:00

I went over to yellow m&m's place at around 2 plus....the journey to her place was slightly more than an hour. I reached at around 4pm as she has just woken up from her night shift the night before. I brought along a 1999 Bordeux red for her dad and a small greenish bottle of japanese wine for her mum. I hang around her place watching her play World of Warcraft online with her brother, btw yellow m&m is a big online gaming lover.

Her mum was not around and dad was sleeping, so I was spared the intial meet the parents session. Well, her mum did come home soon after and she came to talk to me. Luckily, she did not ask too much and so I was spared from saying any wrong things. Th location for dinner was decided and we would be heading to the Jack's Place at West Coast Entertainment Centre for the a meal.

As we leave the house, her dad told me not to bring any more gifts next time and reminded me to save money instead especially since I have just started working. Well, I must say it is really nice to hear that from her dad. We head out in her dad's Ford Mondeo, a really spacious car indeed with lots of leg room at the back. I am impressed. haha

The meal was good and there was some chit chat at the table. Her mum is like my mum, likes to order more than sufficient food. Maybe, it is because she is confident that it would all be finished eventually. Her mum thinks I can eat a lot, well, being the size that I am. haha It was an enjoyable dinner and we headed back. They dropped me off at Jurong East Mrt and I made my way home from there. Oh, her parents gave me a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream to bring home to my mum as well.

Well, so far so good...i will see how it goes from here.

gift ideas, anyone?

2005-04-13T21:34:00.000+08:00

I need some ideas for gifts to bring along to the dinner......perhaps some wine?

Dinner with Yellow m&m's parents

2005-04-11T23:54:00.000+08:00

I would be going over to yellow m&m's place this sunday and her mum has insisted that I go out with them for dinner. I feel a little flattered that I am gonna be treated like a mini "VIP". :) I am not getting cold feet but I am sure afraid of what I am going to talk to her folks about, definitely not about stocks and shares. I hope I can leave a good first impression but then again this is not something which I am particularly strong at. I seldom leave people with a good first impression and that would also partly explain why I always never do well at job interviews.

Time for some wine and "cute" bottles research.

Lunch

2005-04-01T19:00:00.000+08:00

Lunch went well yesterday. My mum is happy, yellow m&m is happy and well, of coz I'm happy as well. My mum seem to like yellow m&m a lot, just kept chatting with her all the time. When yellow m&m came over to my place, she made sure she showed her around the house and let her see all the favourite pastimes and hobbies of hers( the aquarium, the miniature parfumes she owns, her many flower arrangements etc ).

My mum likes to talk a lot and yellow m&m seems eager to please her as well. I just hope this is a good start to many happy things to come eventually.

2005-03-30T14:55:00.000+08:00

yellow m&m gonna come along with me and have lunch with my mum tomolo. i hope it goes well. she says she's gonna get cold feet but i dun think my mum is even scary at all.

ROBOTS

2005-03-26T09:59:00.000+08:00

Watched the cartoon animation robots yesterday with yellow m&m. It was fun watching it but the stroryline fails to surprise me because it was copied from the Will Smith's flick iRobot which was shown just not too long ago. Yellow m&m likes the movie very much though, I can see that she had her funny bones tickled in more ways than one. :)

And yes, in case all you people are wondering why there is such so much mention of her in my blog, we have just became an item last week. I have enjoyed her company so far, it has been nothing short of a miracle of sorts and I really hope that this relationship of ours would last for as long as possible. There's a little joke about this, I was actually glazing at the Millenia tower from the boat quay area when I was thinking about it, then it suddenly hit me that a millennium is a 1000 years. Ohhh....I turned and look at the Centennial tower instead, at least a 100 years is still achieavable. Yellow m&m was laughing at me saying she has only to live till 124 years old for that to happen whereas I have to live till I'm 126 years old for our relationship to be a century old.

I had not expected the two of us to click so well and be able to relate to the things both of us seem to enjoy. Maybe, it was our previous bad experiences that had made us appreciate each other a lot more. I'm not complaining, I feel as the previous relationship was like an extremely steep learning curve, this next one has been a breeze so far. Perhaps the old saying holds true, suffer first and enjoy the fruits of your labour later. When I look at what I enjoy now with yellow m&m, hey, it is definitely worth all the suffering I had the last 4 years.

ps hmmm...I wonder how a 124 year old yellow m&m taste like?

pull ups

2005-03-23T08:42:00.000+08:00

I have been doing 10 pull ups the past few days...it seems like I am no longer getting any kick out of it. I think I would upgrade to the next level, 15 pull ups per day. I tried that yesterday, my arms felt a bit tired. The muscles seem to tighten slightly and it feels a bit strained...

Actually I need to do more than just pull ups. I need to do some running as well but I am just too lazy to do so. I rather be chatting with yellow m&m than to be exerting myself doing runs.

m&m's day

2005-03-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

.....need i say more? it's m&m's day!

by the way, i watched HITCH and got HITCHED......wonderful......

BBQ at East Coast

2005-03-19T12:28:00.000+08:00

My department had a bbq at east coast on sat. It was fun in general and special commendation must go out to Lee Ming who helped to barbecue most of the food. He did an extremely good job as well, the skills at cooking he displayed are reminiscent of that of a great cook. We were all impressed, "someone" should have been here to witness all these.

Oh yes, there was also this crude joke about squids with no head. oops...it would be offensive to put it here though.

It was fun, maybe there should be more of such activities.

pull ups

2005-03-18T21:10:00.000+08:00

I was huffing and puffing to get my ninth and tenth pull ups done with my mum laughing at me. She says I must be getting old since I need to try so hard to get the pull ups done. Then she asked me how many I need to pass my IPPT, I said 6. So actually, I am not that bad right? I can still do around ten pull ups, that should be enough for me to collect my annual $100 from the SAF.

Something else bugs me as well...the Body Mass Index. I'm slightly over the healthy range so I guess I need to lose a couple of kilos. I think I better do so...I still vividly remember the 2.4 km run last year during reservist. I almost died trying to complete my 12 min 40 s run. I dread the run nowadays, a far cry from the days of being able to do it under 9mins and getting cross country run trophies. Perhaps, I am really getting old.

lean and mean brown m&m? I better work hard so that i can fit snugly into the nice black nautica polo shirt I just bought today.

yellow m&m

2005-03-16T13:30:00.000+08:00

it has been slightly more than one month since i first came into contact with yellow m&m. a truly fun person to be with, yellow m&m's infectious laughter never fail to lift my spirits every time. we have quite a lot of common interests as well and chat a lot on the phone.

it is amazing how well we have clicked so far, i hoped things would stay this way at least, if not better. thanx yellow m&m, it has been truly wonderful knowing you so far.

Dad's birthday

2005-03-15T08:32:00.000+08:00

I have been feasting non-stop the last 2 days, on Sunday, we were treated to a cantonese meal by my dad at Lai's Garden and yesterday, my mum cooked up a feast. Perhaps this might be the reason why I am feeling sickly, sometimes you just cannot have too much of the good stuff.

I bought a blackforest cake from Han's but we were all too full by then and we had a hard time trying to eat the cake. The funny thing was that my dad took a slice of the cake and went to eat in the living room while my mum, my sis, her bf and me were happily chatting away. hmmmm....it is his birthday and we are happily eating the cake meant for him....i dunno....

I juz hope he is happy with whatever "celebrations" and the creative Muvo mp3 player we got for him. In the meanwhile, I need to watch what i eat.

Feeling Sickly

2005-03-14T10:35:00.000+08:00

I have suddenly developed a sore throat...haven't been feeling too good throughout the whole weekend though. I hope it will get better.

Yellow m&m burned for me a cd of her favourite underground rock tunes which I just cannot get enough of. I'm eagerly looking forward to volume 2 though. :)

another song i wrote

2005-03-10T19:53:00.000+08:00

i want to break free from this spell
u got me spellbound and life's a hell
i dun wanna be your show and tell
or am i too far back to ring a bell

u give me hope and then u bring me down
juz like throwing me into the sea and drown
i try to turn my whole damned life around
but u give me a kick and i'm dead without a sound

.....sound....dead wihtout a sound
u gave me hope and u bring me down

i dun understand what u're trying to tell me
it's hard to believe but i can see
all those things that u promise me
when u went down on your knees

.....knees u said that you luv me
but now you have her u dun remember me....

i want to break free from this spell
u got me spellbound nd life's a hell
i dun wanna be your show and tell
or am i too far back to ring a bell

dedicated to yellow m&m, be strong ya?

Wise words from a colleague

2005-03-08T21:11:00.000+08:00

While i was still deciding on whether i want to go to the poly or take the "A" levels somewhere in 1996, i manage to work part time and hence met a much older colleague. He is around 40plus, married and has 2 children, therefore, he always like to boast to me that he could have "fathered" a son as old as i am. Oh well... The job requires me to travel around in his lorry and helped him out with his job of installing sign boards. Therefore, we spent a great deal of time chit chatting in between journeys to the work site and back.

Uncle "tiny" as we all call him since he has a pretty small built, likes to crack jokes every now and then. He is a fun person to be with because he breaks the ice and makes you laugh all the time. But this is not what i wanna tell you about, there are times when he starts getting serious and share with me a thing or two about the life he has lived.

He seems like an extremely loving husband and father, in between work during lunch or at times when we are knocking off, he would be calling his wife to check on the family or ask if he need to buy food home. Anyway, he did say something which i still remembered till this day after one of such calls home.

"A marriage is between 2 persons who want to make it work so little crisis along the way should only strengthen the bond even further". i could not really appreciate what such profound words meant at that time. After all, i have never been in love then and such banter simply just could not strike any chord in me.

As i looked back, i have begun to appreciate what he had meant. It could have been opposites attract in the first place or a perfect soulmate. How the two of you fit or do not fit each does not really matter but what really does matter is the fact that both the parties are willing to make the union work. i hope i am correct about this. My first relationship has been a real disappointment, i juz hope the next one would be good.

Tired the past week

2005-03-08T15:02:00.000+08:00

I have been doing the dreaded UK shift the past week. It seems to be extremely demanding on the body and you would feel real tired at the end of the shift but lucky for me, I have been well trained. My stints with Counting Sheep Pte Ltd has been equally demanding and I have toughen up since.

Yellow m&m has been telling me not to buy a car until I have saved up more money. I have secretly been hoping that someone would come along and wake me up from this dream of owning a car. You know, like giving me 2 slaps, a kick in my butt and drag me out of this burrow that I have put my head into. Guess I have found that person now in yellow m&m. Btw yellow has been giving really good advise and encouragement over the last few weeks and I really appreciate that. Thanks, yellow m&m.

Somehow, owning a car would mean many sacrifices and pure good luck in the sense that nothing uncalled for happens. One of my neighbour just bought a new Perodua Kelisa and guess what, it already has a dent by the side despite being only a few weeks old. Repairs like this cost additional money and another friend of mine also had to do minor repairs because his car got hit during the CNY.

It certainly does not make much sense to get a car unless I can fully afford it. My dad is against it, so is my mum. Me? I am in the middle, my brain tells me no, my heart is pointing the other way so I do not really know. What I would do now is to just save up as much money as I can and make a decision only at the end of June. Nothing wrong with saving up...I guess.

Car Fund

2005-03-02T13:42:00.000+08:00

The car fund is growing nicely with every month's passing, I have reached the one third mark of my proposed amount. The saving up is coming along just nice and I have been shopping around for the idea car. I want a car which I would be able to sustain over the long run and not one that would suffocate me. A car somewhere in the 45k-50k region would be ideal, however, there are currently not much choices.

I would hope the prices come down and more models could be made available to fit within my budget. Right now, there's only the Kia RIO and Hyundai Accent, Chevrolet Aveo is apparently what was previously known as Daewoo so that is out. The next category would include Mitsubishi Lancer, Suzuki Swift, Toyota Vios and Corolla, Kia Cerato but they are a little out of my budget right now.

I have heard a lot of bad comments on the Lancer, about their transmission, GDI engine and I would assume all these faults might translate into higher maintainance costs. I like the look of Swift, it looks very impressive on the road too in my opinion but it is still a small little car with limited boot space after all.

COE might trend upwards for now so I can only keep my fingers crossed that it is only temporary. The extra supply of COEs would end this April and LTA would announce new quotas for the coming year. However, nobody know for sure whether there would be more or lesser COEs for sale. There is also talk in the market that loans may be extended from 10 to 12 years. Cheaper cars? Hmmm...I do not know...what I need to do know is save diligently till I reach my target and see how it goes from then on. Maybe, I wouldn't even bear to part with the money by then.

Kia Roadshow

2005-02-28T18:12:00.000+08:00

I went to the KIA roadshow to view the RIO. I must say I was very disappointed with the experience on the whole. The sales representative was not even helpful, all she cared for was to get me to place the booking fee so that she CAN earn her share of commission. Mind you, she already has a Rolex on her wrist, so even if I want to get a car from Kia, I would make sure she would not be the one to serve me.

I like the car's design better as compared to the Hyundai Accent, however, certain aspects of the car seemed lacking for the price that I am going to pay. Firstly, there is no ABS which I thought should have been a standard feature in most of the new cars on the road nowadays. Without ABS, it somehow make the RIO less safe to drive. Secondly, there is no Airbags at all, which certainly put me off. It would make sense to me if the RIO is priced more cheaply than the Accent since they are missing these 2 crucial safety feature.

However, the RIO has a DOHC engine as compared to the Accent's SOHC. But, why would I want a better engine if the car is without 2 crucial safety features. What's more, the sales representative is really snobbish. For now, the RIO is going to be striked off my list.

Anyway, I need to thank michelle for accompanying to the roadshow and listening to my grumbles about the RIO. By the way, did I mention I can be very long-winded.

PS mojo, don't call me a snag...haha

Song I wrote...yet to be titled

2005-02-21T21:11:00.000+08:00

I'm waiting for today
All the things you wanna say
Before you go away

You never say good-bye
All the things you left behind
Makes me want to cry

Maybe certain things should have been left untold
This I agree with you
Baby this I agree with you
But you shouldn't have left your heart unfold
And I can see through it all
I can see through it all

Baby...
I see you walk away without a tear in your eye
And you don't even try
And you don't even try to cry
When you said it's over you turn and walk away
And you make my heart
And you make your heart want to cry

All those folded hearts that you have made me
Don't even mean anything anymore
And I throw it out the door
I want to unfold every heart you gave me
And see what it's made of
But I find nothing at the core

Baby...
I see you walk away without a tear in your eye
And you don't even try
And you don't even try to cry
When you said it's over you turn and walk away
And you make my heart
And you make your heart want to cry

Pieces of my broken heart are everywhere I go
I try to pick them up but
I see no point
I see no point

I still remember...

I see you walk away without a tear in your eye
And you don't even try
And you don't even try to cry
When you said it's over you turn and walk away
And you make my heart
And you make your heart want to cry

brown m&m

2005-02-20T12:43:00.000+08:00

hmmm...the ones that have peanuts in the middle...please...Ok..so what if that type looks a little bulgy with the peanut pack into it? It is what is inside that counts and not how it looks on the outside. Just give me my bloody m&ms and oh yes why do they not have black coloured m&ms?

Anyway, I juz love m&m but only the ones with peanuts in them and I have a particular preference for yellow and brown m&ms only...haha

Btw, I juz got a new nickname given to me by my fellow yellow m&m. It is unicorn sheep. err....the name sounds a bit too glorified for me....I prefer psychsheep or something. You put a horn on a horse, that is ok...putting a single horn on a sheep...that is weird...So assuming, a sheep already have 2 horns of its own, would that mean it would become tri-corn sheep? haha

Profile of Tri-corn Sheep

Name: Tri-con Sheep
Birthday: 4 Feb 1979
Height: 1.0m
Height (with hornS): 1.2m
Weight: 74.7kg
Wool Type: Getting darker ( no thanks to the electric fence )
Jumping Height: Definitely lower than the fence
Hobbies: meh meh
Grass Consumption: 2kg per day
Hangouts: Football Fields (got so much grass to eat!)
Occupation: Crew of Counting Sheep Pte Ltd

Juz for laughs. Makes me all crazy, hmmm...must have been the yellow m&m I took but I'm loving it. haha

A SOULFUL SOUL-SEARCHING RELATIONSHIP

2005-02-14T00:54:00.000+08:00

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend.

If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.

Keep your eyes open,and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.

You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths.

Neither of you are prefect, but are you perfect for each other?

Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her.

You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship!

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important.

Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure.

Allow your mate to have outside interests. You can't always be together.

Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment.

Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation.

Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.

Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.

Kbox, PartyWorld

2005-02-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

I have been frequenting these ktvs lately and I realise the bill seems to be getting higher and higher every next time I visit one. From around $17 per person, I have been steadily paying more and more the last few months till yesterday. 3 of us spent a total of $105!!!!! Hey, something is not quite right here. Its barely 5 months since I started going to ktvs and the cost of visiting one has increased two fold!

People...share with me your experiences. Is it just me being discriminated?

Second Day of Chinese New Year

2005-02-10T19:22:00.000+08:00

Yes...it is the second day of the Chinese Lunar New Year. However, I am stuck in the office, there isn't very much work to do but still i am trapped within these 4 walls for this couple of hours. Nvm, at least I found some time to blog... It has been a joyous few days leading up to this chinese festive season of Hong Baos giving. My season of receiving Hong Baos started last week because of my 26th birthday...haha

A lot of giving treats and getting treated happened the past week as my good buddies, Ern, Jo and Vera sterted the ball rolling by giving me a sumptuous treat at Ichiban Sushi at Esplanade. Thanx guys, I hope my coffee treat afterwards made up a bit for the big hole the sushi meal caused in your pockets. Also, not forgetting Celine, who got me a miniature model of the Lancer Evolution. I'm so touched by how enthused she was at searching high and low for it. Thanx, I luv the black Evo a lot. I end the week of merry making with a nice family dinner at suntec city's Kuali Restaurant. Oh ya..thanx sis for the lovely cuff links you got. I luv it!

On my way to work today, I saw a couple quarreling under the hot sun at the junction near my house. Perhaps, they have just crossed the road and a disagreement stopped them in their path and before you know it. Arms started moving and the voices getting louder and faces turned aggressive. I am sure it was not just any small misunderstandings because they were still arguing even after I have reached the MRT platform and was able to see the whole spectacle with a bird's eye view.

KAYPOH? Noosey? Perhaps not...I am also guilty of having partake in such silly mind torturing arguements as well. Well, it happens, I do pity the couple....its after all the 2nd day of Chinese New Year. It must have went on for a good 10 minutes or so and the guy just threw his arms into the air and ran across the road. I wish I knew where he went...home perhaps? The girl stood there for a while and with the guy's running figure becoming smaller and smaller, she walked off in the opposite direction.

I do not like to quarrel with people but I guess it is inevitable when you interact with your loved ones on a regular basis and a simple benign disagreement may just blow up in your face and becomes maglinant. It may be a good thing when 2 persons of incompatible personalities quarrel and spilt up sooner rather than later. An earlier breakup would prevent more heartache and wreck lesser havoc in the future.

Valentine's day is just round the corner, I hope the couple think through carefully and if their love is still not too strained. Perhaps, the guy may consider being more gentlemanly and asked for forgiveness from his girlfriend whom he has left standing there in the hot sun as he turned and ran away. I am actually in no position to comment too much but I do know that if I have to have a "conference" with my loved one out of the blue like that...I would try to shift ourselves into shade and perhaps argue our differences over a bottle of red wine instead. The alcohol should numb our senses, loosen us up a bit, regain a little of our sagacity and hopefully we can get to making love rather than war. Oh...by the way, making love does not equal to having sex, so please.....people.

Cheers people, another step closer to a black Lancer.

Quotes of the Day

2005-02-07T01:20:00.000+08:00

Don't Hurt Anyone

It only takes a few seconds to hurt someone you love and it can take years to heal.

Marriage

Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with, only marry someone that you cannot live without.

Trust

It takes years to build trust, and a few seconds to destroy it.

Value

What is the most valuable is not What you have in you life but Who you have in your life.

Money

Money can buy you everything but happiness.

Live Today

There are two enternities that can really break you down Yesterday & Tomorrow, one is gone and the other does't exist. So live today.

Quote of the Day

2005-02-02T16:59:00.000+08:00

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.

W.J.Bryant

Mitsubishi Lancer

2005-01-21T22:27:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking for a very long period of time with regards to owning a car. I took the liberty to ask friends who own cars and understand at first hand how it feels to be feeding petrol and throwing in money for the upkeep of their "wives". It is often the usual: "It is not easy".

I can empathise with this feeling, in fact, I have totally experienced it before (hint : that lasted for about 4 years before it got "scrapped" recently). Owning a car is actually a good thing for me, at least this relationship is going to be at least 10 years long. I simply love things that go on and on forever and it does not end at all. haha, silly me, how can that ever be possible?

Anyway, back to the car, I would like to get a black mitsubishi lancer. The quoted price now is about $60k. A weekend version would cost about $43k, it seems really cheap but I need to prove to my parents that I am more than comfortable with paying the monthly installments. So, for a start, I would start saving $500 a month till june this year and hopefully by that time, coupled with the bonus, I would have a substantial sum of money to cover downpayments and insurance.

In order to make my lancer dream a reality, I would have to sacrifice and change my habits drastically. For a start, no unnecessary Raoul price range shirt, no clubbings and late nights, lesser sessions of KTVs and save, save, save. Of course, I would need a little help in the prices of cars too, hopefully, they would fall by another substantial amount by then.

I still could not believe I had passed, I had never thought that I could be first time lucky. I would have saved up more money had I anticipated all this. My mum does not think I would get through the first time round, she thought I was kidding her when I told her I had passed. After all, I had been the bloody idiot who took 3 attempts to pass my basic theory and another 3 attempts to pass my advanced theory. Perhaps, I need to say this in Hokkien... pai seh wor, wa bo tak che, wa bei jit yi eh ji.... translated it means I am not educated and hence I cannot recognise the words. ;)

A black mitsubishi lancer it will be!

Shopping in KL, Driving License

2005-01-17T20:20:00.000+08:00

Like what I have said in my previous blog...my KL trip update! I really shopped like crazy while I was in KL. Perhaps it was the exchange rate, it does wonders to the prices of things I want to buy. Everything seems so cheap, somehow you just cannot resist not buying them.Suddenly, I begin to get a feel of how a shopaholic feel when money is splurged....IT SURE FEELS GREAT!!!!!! I bought 3 pairs of footwear, (1 loafers, 1 sandals, 1 sneakers) , jacket, belt, a business bag and loads of foodstuffs for my colleagues and family.

The food is wonderful too, especially the jalan alor area, we walk and explore KL by foot. So, by now I am quite familiar with the KL area...where the shopping areas are, Bukit Bintang, KLCC Suria, the clubbing area, Jalan Sultan Ismail and yes...ZOUK! I am certainly looking forward to going back there again, perhaps this time to indulge in the night life there. Maybe, it feels just like clubbing in Singapore but hey, I want to experience it at least once.

I wrote some lyrics during my bus ride there and back....will turn them into songs soon. It has been quite a while since I last wrote a song. I luv the long bus rides on the malaysian highways...it feels really comfy and carefree...opens up my mind and free myself from all my worries and troubles. I like to write as I experienced the feelings that come along with the relief as you throw your worries and troubles into the wind. haha...I am exaggerating, am I?

I came back from the trip feeling extremely happy but I had not expected more joyous stuff to come my way. I got news from my good pal Marc that he's gotten a job...happy for you..haha...finally. I can see the relief on your face as you spent quite a bit shopping at marine parade. And thanks for the waffle treat, I owe you one.

On 14th the Friday , I took my driving test and passed it on the first attempt. I was pleasantly surprised as I had not expected to pass since even my dirving instructor does not think highly of my driving skills. I was still getting scolded on the last circuit practise just before the actual test. My colleague who introduced the instructor to me said that he was extremely nice and does not scold people. Boy, my driving skills must have been extremely atrocious for him to scream at me like that at times. But the worst is over, I had passed the test much to the amazement of my instructor. Nevermind, it does not matter now, I was one of 5 candidates who passed that morning out of 20. So, I couldn't have been too lousy, rite?

A car in sight? Definitely yes...but I will wait because I have received reliable information that the car prices would be coming down further. Do not ask me more for I need to protect my source...haha Cheers to anyone who's buying a car now when the prices are at a record low. Do not fret, you can laugh at me if the prices start to climb after the chinese new year, by then I can start calling myself stupid for not having bought the car. But then again, I have faith in my source.

Rechargeable Batteries

2005-01-05T17:55:00.000+08:00

I saw the many advertisements in the SMRT train I took to work the other day and I simply cannot help but wonder. It's weird how some companies would book all the advertising space on one single train and bombard commuters with seemingly the same posters proclaiming the same old marketing line. I just wonder how efficient that would be in terms of marketing penetration and gaining acceptance amongst consumers.

Anyway, it is not about the numerous similar advertisements but the content of it that stikes me. The posters are selling rechargeable batteries which I think are a wonderful idea if you really care about saving mother earth. By using the re-usable batteries, we can save resources and help preserve and make sure earth can sustain our wasteful ways for a few hundred more years.

Have you heard of the story of an island where at its peak, there were 7000 inhabitants. However, the trees and resources were quickly consummed to the point of no return and eventually, the entire population was totally wiped out. Sad, but it is very real, countries are already hoarding resources now and making sure they have an egde over the others in the event of a fallout in international opinions.

Somehow, I thinked I have side-tracked a bit too much. From rechareable batteries to preserving earth to international relations and to the zero sum theories of nations? Never mind, I was feeling a bit bored this few days, perhaps I would have more interesting things to describe and make an opinion on after I come back from my Kuala Lunpur trip this Sunday. Cheers and remember to have lots of fun.

Call me RAOUL...haha

2004-12-29T14:33:00.000+08:00

I have finally bought myself something from this upmarket mens wear boutique at suntec. Normally, I can only look hungrily at the beautiful shirts that they have inside and I just cannot afford to fork out so much money for one shirt. However, times are different now, I made it a point to visit them this month after getting my bonus.

I visited the outlet at millenia walk and pampered myself by getting a blue shirt with french cuffs. Oh how I like french cuffs, my favourite style of clothes. The touch of the fabric is absolutely heavenly, its so soft to the touch of the skin and the cut and style of the shirt is superior. I guess they better be for making me fork out so much for just one shirt. This may be my first RAOUL shirt but it sure would not be the last I am going to buy from them. Everything is so perfect and slick with the shirts that they sell.

Every night this past week, I have spent it in the company of Ern, Jo and Vera and though it is a bit tiring but I must say we have been able to click pretty well even though I have known you people for so short a period of time. I had fun chatting with you people over coffee and dinners, it was thoroughly enjoyable.

Today is Wednesday, I will be heading to the KTVs for my forthnightly dose of singing and Cheers to you people. Everybody, remember to have fun!

ChristmaS DaY 2004

2004-12-25T01:38:00.000+08:00

I started the run-up to this year's Christmas Day with something to prove to myself. I wanted very badly to regain a little bit of my self esteem and confidence. How, you may ask? By doing the thing I had lived my life for, singing and performing for people. Somehow, I need to prove to myself that I am not a shade worse off even though I had laid off doing this activity for the past 4 years.

The performance started with alot of doubtful faces in the crowd, somehow I am not someone who gives people a good first impression. I can tell from the questioning looks on most of my colleagues faces that perhaps I might have made the wrong choice of my life to put myself in such an embarressing situation. I took a deep breath as the first word of my song "Nothing's gonna change my love for you" came out. As I progress, I can see them slowly won over with my voice and ability to sing. Maybe, it's more of a shock and disbelief mentality that won it for me.

All in all, I am very happy indeed. I had proven myself in front of so many people, this is one sore thing I always had on my mind since my break-up. My ex had never complimented me on my singing and had often chosen to make fun of it and discredit me. All those shouting and cheering from colleagues I barely know really moved me. It certainly gave me a lot of confidence and courage to do even more from now onwards.

Do you know the beauty of this Christmas I had? I had fun simply just doing the most basic of things in life. Friends, beer, delicious home-made food and a simple gathering at ern's home. As a result of my work covering the UK market, I went over late to ern's place. Well, lucky for me, Jo and Vera have already whipped up several wonderful dishes for our dinner. I'm seriously guilty of not having done much, guys but the food sure was tasty and yummy. A visit to velvet midway through the nite was all too tempting and we came back afterwards to ern's place to chit chat throughout the nite till morning.

Tired? perhaps...but when else can we do something like this? haha We met up not long after on Christmas Day eveing itself for the Focker's Education. This sequel to Meet The Parents is definitely one hell of a funny show. All of us enjoyed it and I would want to keep a look out for the third installment if there's going to be any. haha

A sincere thank-you goes out to all the people who voted me in the competition, POEMS Dealing Team, POEMS Marketing and a lot of those colleagues I barely know. I really appreciated that because all you people would not have imagined how important all those applause and compliments meant to me. Thank-you.

Ern, Vera and Jo....you guys too....My life would definitely had been a lot duller and boring if I had not known any of you people. Cheers and I hope the Hoegaardens can continue to keep us together.

Acceptance

2004-12-16T02:22:00.000+08:00

Ernest, how many times have you been told to keep your bloody mouth shut and just zip it...zip it...ZIP IT. No? Still deny it? Go take three..haha

See, sometimes it just does not pay to stand firmly by your point of view. I do not know...maybe I have also been guilty of things like that as well. Have you tried to put someone down because you just cannot accept the person the way that he/she is?

Personally, I feel that the best way out of this situation would be for the parties involved to learn to appreciate each other and accept the way things are. Everyone is unique in their own ways and if the world was not meant to be as diverse as it is now..then someone up there would definitely have planned it more differently.

The point is we should all live in harmony together, be it being a little bit more accomodating or simply just totally accepting the person the way he/she is. What is the point of arguing and making things difficult for one another. Why can't we accept certain things as they are and move on to doing other more constructive things?

Ernest, if you are not being accepted, just accept the other party as he is. Take the three extras and keep your mouth shut. You know he means it when he throws the extras. haha Cheers. Life can be more fun if you just accept certain things as they are.

Quote of the day

2004-12-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.

Quote courtesy of My Highness.

Snowball Effect

2004-12-08T21:26:00.000+08:00

It is always the unspoken that pushes the snowball just one more inch. A moment of silence and a sudden flare up in anger and the great snowball is set in motion. The snowball gathers pace and volume, soon, it becomes an unstoppable ball of misapprehension and grievance. Perhaps, if only someone would be brave enough to break up the snowball when it has just started gathering pace.

You know, someone has to pluck up the courage to stamp on the snowball and stop the "devilish" little ball from developing into a full blown monster. How many couples can actually face up to all these unspoken quarrels? I really do not know but I would congratulate those who are able to confront such predicaments. Clear the air and settle whatever issues that are outstanding for once and for all.

I have experienced quarrels whereby previous qualms were brought into play and created more pain and confusion. Perhaps, certain issues can never be forgotten and forgiven for such things would always get lodged in the heart somewhere and make the person simply perturbed even just thinking about it.

The vicious cycle never ends, It keeps buliding from there, the snowball just keep on rolling and becomes increasingly harder to halt. A small commotion leads to a quarrel and explode into a bigger clash of opinions. It would never end because the mind has not forgiven.

Rainy Season

2004-12-02T19:18:00.000+08:00

The is the ultimate reason to spoil all outdoor invitations this month. I know the weather is cooling and how nice it would be to snug under the blanket and sleep soundly through the night. It's funny how I cannot seem to enjoy such a luxury. I never have the habit to sleep with blankets on and that is why I would suffer when it is getting cold in the night.

Normally, the chill in the middle of the night does not affect me a lot. I always wonder why I do not feel the cold when people are shivering and cannot fall asleep. I just sleep through the night but everytime it gets cold like it is now, I would shiver like mad for I still refused to pull on the blanket. Bad habit right?

I haven't been sleeping well because of the change in the weather. Or is it because of other things as well? I do not really know. Cheers. It's friday and alley bar here I come.

Women's Greatest Hardship

2004-12-01T19:07:00.000+08:00

This topic came up in our office chit chat today. The greatest hardship that a woman can ever go through in her lifetime would be that of carrying the child for months and finally giving birth. This being the case, the husband should show appreciation of the pain the wife had endured in bearing the child by never straying and cheat while in the marriage.

Sounds very traditional? It may be so but I must say I really appreciate the wisdom that such learned words bring. It may be common knowledge to some people but I feel this is something our education system today had overlooked. It definitely reflects the moral well being of a person and how he would treat his spouse.

I have always have a vague idea about such moral teachings but they have never strike me as hard as it did today. I am not even married so it definitely cannot be a case of guilt. However, I would really want to keep this in mind and to try to spread the teaching to people I know.

In a marriage, the couple must learn to respect and give in to each other. The husband must fulfil the role well by providing for the family and dote on the wife. The wife would in turn be a good mother to the children and care for the family. Sounds absurd? I would think so, it is all very confucious like and who in this modern world today cares about such thinking? Haven't you seen the divorce rate going up in recent years? It just goes to show how much people value the importance of the creating and maintaining a happy family.

It would actually be hard to meet like minded people who share the same views as me and eventually be united in marriage and live happily ever after. Compromise would work but perhaps it would have to come equally from both parties. A relationship needs to be equally balanced just like those equations we used to work out in school. What happen if it doesn't? You get stressed and fret over it and you just keep trying and trying until you get it right but the problem here is that you might not get a relationship right even if you worked your ass off.

Just like what I have mentioned above, a marriage would work out if the husband does his part and the wife does her own. It has to be equal contribution right from the onset. An imbalanced relationship would be unhealthy and married guys, do keep in mind how much hardship your other half goes through and not do anything that would jeopardize the marriage. Cheers.

Have a Free Lunch?

2004-11-30T23:15:00.000+08:00

You do not even have to ask me. My immediate answer would be NO. Yes, there's no need to even think twice about it. Maybe, I am a bit too conservative when it comes to taking risks. Friends and colleagues all know I am the bloody idiot who goes to Singapore Pools to place bets up to a few hundred dollars which return only 20 percent? But to be fair, I have paid enough "school fees" to learn that this only follows the age old investment saying of " Low risk, Low returns and High risk, High returns".

A free lunch I would definitely reject unless it comes from somebody I know really well, then I might want to reconsider. That someone might have lesser ulterior motives to attempt to treat you better than someone you know for not too long a time. However, we would not know the real motives for that will take time to tell.

Call me stupid or dumb but I would definitely think for a spilt second why someone I had barely known would offer to be so kind to me. Maybe, he/she is really kind and generous by nature. I am not denying there are no such persons out there. I have seen and heard of people who are really that kind and generous.

So, here I am. Contemplating about whether to have a free lunch? I shall not elaborate further for that would give a lot of things away. I still keep my stand. No free lunches for me. Perhaps, I am making everyone seems like the bad guy and I am the only good person around. Something must be wrong with me, why do I keep thinking only about bad things which people might do to me? Maybe I need some vodka ribena to liven up...ern, time to hit the pubs but this time get some gals to pay for us. haha

Straight From The Heart - Bryan Adams

2004-11-29T23:22:00.000+08:00

I could start dreamin' but it never ends
As long as you're gone we may as well pretend
I've been dreamin'
Straight from the heart

You say it's easy but who's to say
That we'd be able to keep it this way
But it's easier
Straight from the heart

Give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we can make another start
You know I'll never go
As long as I know
It's coming straight from the heart

I'll see you on the street some other time
And all our words would just fall out of line
Cuz I'm dreamin' - straight from the heart

Give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we can make another start
You know I'll never go
As long as I know
It's coming straight from the heart

This is the song that accompanied me all the way from city hall to holland village and back on one fateful night after I had quarelled with my ex. Love it so much. This is the song that kept me going and I love every single note of it.

Alley Bar

2004-11-28T16:49:00.000+08:00

I was chilling out with Ern, Jo and Vera at Alley Bar along Emerald Hill yesterday night for the second time this month. Noticed a poster on the wall that says only guys above 25 years of age would be admitted while ladies need only be 21 years old to get in. Okay, its one of those things you see and forget about. But this one....I kept thinking about.

I have stopped being a club/pub crawler a long time ago but circumstances have made sure I would be a reborn junkie once again. There is always this thing about clubbing and pubbing that bugs me a lot. The AGE Limit. How is it that most pubs segregate and grant entry to people based on 2 different set of age criteria? I am old enough now to be admitted to most places so I'm not really complaining. But, hey, I was young once too so why can't a 21 year old guy go into most clubs and pubs as easy as a 21 year old girl?

Hmmm... What could be the reasons for the age discriminations? Maybe girls mature faster than guys and would be able to resist the temptations lying all around in these places? How about this one? With this kind of segragation, it would ensures that guys serving NS would be kept out of these joints which cater to more high class clientele. Why is there a need, you may ask? NS guys always gets into fights and create trouble, don't you know? haha The training must have pumped too much blood to their brain which has seriously affected their normal capability to think and keep cool.

If you think about it, the age segragation ensures that NS guys and males around that age group are left with limited choices when they need to go clubbing. Maybe, with limited choices to go to, they may get bored not too long afterwards and can concentrate on serving their NS better, which by the way, is their full time job. haha

Somehow, I feel a little bit of injustice. All this talk about sexual equality does not seem to apply here. Hmm....maybe it is a sign from somewhere to encourage ladies to find their mate earlier so that the odds of them settling down would be higher too? We all know how this works out. You see, the age difference is basically about 5 years and that can do wonders to most guy's careers. So, it would be ideal for a young girl to meet an older guy who's more financially settled and seems like he can provide for a better life. Ring a bell, ern?

Perhaps, somebody can shed some light here about the age discrimination for I really have no clue about it? We always talk about equality between the sexes, maybe we can start from here.

The Reason - Hoobastank

2004-11-26T18:59:00.001+08:00

i'm not a perfect person
there are many things i wish i didnt do
but i continue learning
i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go
that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you

i'm sorry that i hurt you
its something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through
i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
thats why i need you to hear

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me you didnt know
a reason for all that i do, and the reason is you

i'm not a perfect person, i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me you didnt know
a reason for all that i do, and the reason is you

KTV, anyone?

2004-11-25T23:25:00.000+08:00

I have always detested KTVs and maybe that's why I still have not fully embraced the idea of frequenting one yet. But like what some silly acquaintances told me this week, people are constantly in situations of circumstance, some of which they have no control of and hence may need to show bizarre behaviours sometimes. And because of this, they would change too and I may also have been guilty of having been in such unfortunate situations before. A round of applause for the lady who told me this before I continue.

Perhaps she is right after all, but I am still a stubborn person. KTVs I do not like because I sort of find them a little sleazy perhaps I have watched too much HKG movies and also simply because I do not sound good singing on the microphone. After going to a KTV for the third time in my life, I still find them unacceptable with the dim lights and weird taste for decors. I played along to an attempt to visit one today because ern really tried hard to disguise our outing as a "normal" one so I felt really bad to be making myself so unsociable and difficult to get along. Kudos to you man for strategising to get me into one. haha

I had fun, along with a couple of his friends, singing the evening away to retro tunes of music I used to listen to when I was growing up. Those good old days, revising your school work and exams, accompanied by lovely tunes from the radio. This is definitely a good break away from my usual routine of going straight home from work.

The night was cheery and light hearted as we continue with some good old beer drinking except that this time round, the beer tasted less bitter. haha In fact, they tasted extremely sweet and ern and vera would know what I am talking about. I'm getting a little light headed and before I sprout any more nonsense and gets threatened again, I better publish this little I have written and turn in for the night. Will be dreaming of Amsterdam, ern haha and cheers once again.

Philophobia

2004-11-24T15:56:00.000+08:00

This word according to an online list means that it is the phobia of the affairs of the heart, the fear of falling or being in love. This is the feeling I get now whenever I try to think about venturing into another relationship. Even glancing at another female species sends a silly tingle of fear down my spine.

The mind is pretty numb and the body is weary and whoever has seen me recently would definitely tell me that I have lost weight. I have probably lost weight but perhaps, I have lost more than just weight, a certain part of the heart has also shed its due share of body mass. I have never paid much attention to how those lovey dovey sad love songs sound until now. haha But damned, they sure sounded real good.

My daily life have become pretty dysfunctional, I would still do my job which I simply cannot ignore but everything else just seems like a chore to me. I'm lucky to have rediscovered my "twin" brother in Ernest who has been there to give me encouragement and moral courage which ensures that I stay sane. Thanks to his bunch of friends, they have also become a welcome distraction in my otherwise callous and ethereal being in this world.

There are my fair share of misdeeds in the relationship and I can assure you that some of these are indeed the reasons why things have become so wrong. Somehow, I have to keep reminding myself that I am definitely single. It still feels kind of surreal and memories of the good times do still flash back instantly the moment I come into contact with the things we used to do together.

Catastrophic? Calamitous? It all sounds the same to me. Carefree? Cheery? Somehow it does not ring a bell. Careless? I must have been. Cautious? Definitely.

Wealth

2004-11-23T11:37:00.000+08:00

I have always wonder about this proposition. Do you save so that you would feel rich knowing you have a big fat savings account or would you spend all your money so that in the eyes of other people, you look rich. Me? I would prefer the former. I have always been a "savings" person, storing away my excess monies and when I look at the bank account, I feel really good.

The idea of buying a car has always bugged me since I would consider it as being too much of a financial burden. The monthly installments and accrued interests seems like a killer and no wonder the banks are making big money. If you think about it, the banks certainly do not have much to lose even if you do not pay your installments. They would just take the car and auction it off to the highest bidder and try to cover the remaining payments. Who are the big winners here? The authorities whom you have paid your COE and the banks who had granted you the loan.

In order to flaunt your so called "wealth", you actually allow the goverment to tax you heavily and subsequently, the tax is to be disguised as "depreciation" as your initial investment in the car slowly erodes. Perhaps, I'm considered too pragmatic in my thinking since a lot of people actually owned cars so it must have become an accepted norm and way of life in land scarce Singapore.

Cars would be good value only if the COE portion could be taken away which would not happen any time soon. Dream on...haha But then again, I can start counting the monies I saved up in my bank account just like I count sheeps to sleep at night. 1, 2, 3, 4......a million? yeah REALLY dream on but it is a good start anyway.

Commitment

2004-11-22T20:34:00.000+08:00

I guess the culture of life and love in general has changed a lot since the olden days. It used to be the case when a couple decide to settle down, they work hard together to make the relationship work, no matter what happens. If you do take note of current affairs, you would have realised that divorce cases have been on the rise and it looks like an uptrend from now onwards.

Perhaps I am an old fashioned person, or maybe I am too one-tracked mind. I have longed for a lasting relationship where the love is mutual and consistent even before I started dating and falling in love. I am still listening to my 80's/90's love songs like Chris De Burgh's Lady in Red, Damn Yankees's High Enough, Alias's More Than Words Can Say. Maybe this is the reason why, I'm still pretty much trapped in this time warp, lost to the reality of life which is so much different now.

It seems like everything can just be settled by taking somebody to court or if you do not like a certain someone whom you walk down the aisle with, just get a divorce. I do not know what goes on in these people's mind, somehow divorce is the last thing I would like to think of. It's irresponsible to be screaming divorce when a marriage do not work out, isn't it? Somebody scold me if I am wrong, perhaps, I am a old 60 year old trapped inside a 25 year old's body.

In a marriage, compromise isn't a word that is good enough. Commitment may be more appropriate. The need to answer to your other half, the moral obligation to what you should or should not do. The responsibility to the spouse's family, taking care of their well-being, caring for children (if you have) is all part of staying committed in the relationship and making a family work.

Shouting divorce simply does not solve the above problems. Which couple does not quarrel? But why does quarrel leads to more quarrels and more quarrels? Perhaps the commitment just was not there. Compromise solves the issue on hand for that moment but the commitment would make sure the mind does not do what it did wrong so as to prolong the relationship.

Maybe there's really no happiness in pursuing such a monotonous being with your "wrongly" chosen other half. A divorce would solve all the problems and ensures that you are legally free to pursue the real happiness that you crave. This may not be wrong but somehow it is just not my cup of tea or coffee or watever, perhaps it's more in vogue to say not my cup of vodka lime or ribena now? haha cheers hic oops..

Something About You

2004-11-21T11:01:00.000+08:00

I don’t know where to begin
I don’t know how to get out there to see you
I don’t know where to dig in.
I don’t know how to get in there…to feel you

It’s been too long and I’m about to be in time for me
It’s been too long and I’m in time

Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that
Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that

I never thought I would win
I never thought much about that.
(It’s been a long time coming)
I never stopped to begin
Thinking about the process.
(It’s been a long time coming)

It’s been too long and I’m about to be in time for me
It’s been too long and I’m in time

Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that
Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that

I don’t know where to begin
I don’t know how to get out there to see you

Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that
Baby there’s something about you that
I can hold on to
I’m going to hold on to that

It’s been a long time coming
I’m going to hold on to that

And I’m going to be there…be there…alright

PS There's still smell of alcohol and beer in my breath and the music from ZOUK/Velvet is pounding away in my head. Till my system flushes the toxic out, I'm in no mood to write. Hence, the lyrics to a fav song of mine will suffice. Cheers...hic

Every action has an equal reaction

2004-11-20T13:05:00.000+08:00

I keep teaching this theory to my students every time I tutor them on physics. It is coincidental how this theory is just as relevant in our daily interactions with people, friends and family. Every little action you do or say will register something in the other person's memory. It depends on how the person see the relationship and the kind of person he/she is. Some people might just react straight away while others would start to keep their unhappiness to themselves and store their reactions away.

This is where it gets intriguing, how long the person can stand any outburst or idiosyncrasies will depend on the intimacy and duration of the relationship you have with the other person. Try behaving badly in front of someone you have known just 10 mins ago, throw a tantrum perhaps. Now the ball is in the other person's court, well, if you have met a super, duper nice guy/gal, chances are you might just get away with it. The person is not be obliged to tolerate the bad behaviour and may just lashed out at you. However, if the person is close enough to you, he/she might be willing to give in and put up with the bad behaviour.

The repercussions? How long can such an unhealthy relationship hold out? I do not know but it would be just like a hairline crack on the water dam and can you mend something like this? Everyone with experience would tell you NO! Before long, the crack in the wall would widen and the whole dam would just crumble. Or it could be the problem of a cracked vase and no matter how hard you try to mend it, the cracks would still show.

The bottomline is any failure to iron out any diferences right from the onset would eventually breeds contempt. As time passes, the cummulative impact of the action-reaction behaviours adds on to the burden of the relationship and it would eventually bring it to a point of no return. So are we going to go into the details of who started the action first? haha...I hope not.

Life would never be the same

2004-11-19T13:31:00.000+08:00

Remember the Back to The Future shows of the 80s where Marty gets into trouble when he travel back in time and changes the course of history. Sounds familiar? I guess in real life, this is also very true and I personally feel that once certain things have happened, it would definitely have an impact on the future. So, it depends on how the person look at things from then onwards. Should they just move on and forget about the unfortunate incidents or learn from it so that next time you can prevent them from happening. This is really up to the individual.

I do not wish to forget about the unfortunate incidents that have happened so far and I definitely will not forget them easily. In fact, they would serve as a strong reminder for me so that I would not make such mistakes in the future. I hate to pretend nothing has happened over the past 4 years because the fact is that things have happened, be it good or bad. Somehow, it has also made me a stronger and better person. I have never thought about a lot of the things I have mentioned here before. The amount of thinking I have done for the past 2 weeks have certainly made me a much different person and that also mean I would start to think even more. hmm...

It is very ironic for me as I have always been told I'm grossly overweight and I am badly in need of a diet. But here I am, deprived of proper sleep and food for the past one month, have slimed down by a fair bit and yet my relationship has soured. It's funny how life takes it's time to make fun of people or perhaps it has been too little too late.

As I look back, I realise I did have the chance to salvage the relationship for I was asked to accompany my ex for the night prior to all the unhappy incidents. I was apprehensive about doing so since it would mean that I would have to abandon my work position for the night. Somehow, it did not feel right and I told her I cannot do so. In the end, some things did happen and the rest they say is history. It felt like an opportunity lost but I cannot do much except feel that I could have tackle that problem differently. Perhaps, if I had agreed to keep her company for the night, things might really have been different?

It bugs me constantly to think of the things that I should have done which I had unfortunately not done so. Sorry, but my fire fighting mentality is rearing its ugly head again. I was given the chance to do something about it but yet I just chose to ignore it. Perhaps, I have been too complacent in dealing with such matters. I should have realised things do not happen without a reason and with all the signs showing, I have deliberated on taking any actions.

A chance lost and with a painful lesson learnt, so perhaps I have really lose out after all.

Would you still love me when I am 60?

2004-11-18T20:29:00.000+08:00

You know the one question I would really want to ask my future other half would be this: Would you still be loving me when I am 60 years old? Nothing much to it but somehow or another I have always had this feeling in me that I want a relationship where the commitment and love is constant throughout the rest of our life. Sounds naive right? But that does not mean it would not be possible.

I have always been a thinker, pondering over what things actually mean rather than what I see on the surface. And perhaps I think too much, a simple thing can become way too complicated and it is all because of me. It would take a lot of love to answer one question like this. To be really in love with another person would mean a lot of sacrifices and giving in, over-looking each other's weaker points by focusing on our better points. In short, it would be an absolutely great feeling to be with this other person, simply heavenly, well that is if you can find a person like this.

Most of us would end up with just somebody simple but do you know it really does not matter. What matters most is when your other half look into your eyes and tell you : "yes, he/she would be loving you forever. Even if you are 60 years old." It would be hard to be in a relationship when somehow both parties cannot see eye to eye to simple things like this. You know what, this is just the start of more hard work to come.

Has anyone wondered how hard a marrying couple has to slog and save to make a marriage happen? I have thought of this before and I do salute all these couples who have made these sacrifices in order to make their wedding a reality. What does it really mean to be saying I do at the altar? What does it really mean to be putting on the ring on each other's finger? What does it mean to be taking care of each other be it the good or the bad times?

Have you guys thought about all that? Perhaps, I may have really been looking for a life partner and the other party just wasn't ready for all these commitments. Couples scrimp and save way before you see them stand on the altar, holding each other arms and all the hardwork invested would all be worth it. You save because you need a roof to build a future together, a place to raise a family together, a corner to cuddle together and a home to call your own. Do they just fall from the sky? Perhaps, for some people.

Well, if you know what I'm talking about? Drop me a msg and I know I have found a like-minded friend or maybe you have suddenly felt depressed, scold me to vent your anger. Or if you think I'm crap, drop me from your friend list like a bomb. Either way, I have nothing to lose but to spread a little message like this and make people think about life in general will go a long way for me. Cheers mate.

My personal blog and feelings

2004-11-17T19:35:00.000+08:00

I have been told I should not be so proud in giving details about my futile relationship. I have been doing some serious pondering over the last 2 days and I have yet to figure out what that actually mean. It was all happy memories for me up to a point about one month ago where things started turning for the worst. Somehow, since this is my personal blog and I have not attacked anyone so I'm definitely puzzled as to why I cannot reflect on what has happened so far.

I am not spreading rumours about anyone, afterall, I had devoted close to 4 years of my life and surely there would be some happy times I can savour and reflect upon. Correct me if I am wrong, I have not accused anyone of anything or said something bad about a certain person. So, it really puzzles me why I cannot form my own personal opinions about my failed relationship.

Anyway, I really cannot help it if somebody feels so strongly about keeping it hush hush about the relationship. It must have been a really huge disgrace to be dating someone like me so that's why everything needs to be kept secretive. Doesn't really matter, if I am really just sprouting nonsense then just do not bother with me. It is really as simple as that isn't it?

I'm simply just looking forward to ZOUK OUT!!!!!! Big plans have been made and it sure would be a smashing time. Haha maybe I have been deprived for way too long...It has been about 5 whole years since I last went clubbing. Pathetic right but I have always felt that I have had enough fun when I was younger and it was then time for me to forsake all these and be more down to earth. How wrong I was but it's never too late to start having fun again.

I need to start building up my social circle again for I had forsake most of the people I knew whilst I was in the relationship. I will definitely bear this in mind in the future, I need my own friends too. It is definitely unhealthy to just be the best of friends with your other half and nobody else. Anyway enough said, Zouk Out is all that matters now. Anyone who is also going, drop me a message. As what my British colleague would tell me Cheers mate!

Signs your relationship has gone bad

2004-11-14T07:27:00.000+08:00

Here are some of the signs that your relationship has gone down the drain.

1.
Being told that I can longer provide her with the happiness that she wants anymore.

2.
All the things I have done for her over the last 4 years have all come to nought and they simply just do not count anymore.

3.
Be reminded that we have agreed to just stick together first until we find a more suitable person and we can break-up. This is really a very subtle hint to whatever lies ahead. So never accept such a compromise like this in order to ensure the relationship hangs on.

4.
Your gf does not wear the most expensive ring you have bought for her because she says that everything does not go smoothly for her whenever she puts it on. Hmmmm....

5.
I'm supposed to be grateful to a colleague whom she makes sandwiches for on most mornings since he fetches her to work out of "convenience". For the record, I had never eaten any sandwiches made by her for that matter although I have sometimes made the effort to send her to work on my days off. Once, I even have to buy and prepare breakfast (garlic bread) for her to bring to work for her colleagues.

6.
How she keeps going on and on about how this colleague of hers is so nice to everyone in the office and she cannot believe that a person so nice can exist!!!!? Maybe I have been treating her real bad and that is why she can feel like that. haha

7.
We are not to be seen in town and anywhere else where we might meet some friends or colleagues. And when we do meet someone, the convenient line would be: "Oh...I'm having a family outing/dinner and this is my uncle. You would not believe how young my uncle is." I know I'm 25 this year and I look a bit old but I am still seriously bemused by all this.

8.
When I'm told to go home after spending half a saturday trying to help her locate her lost office key which she might have dropped on the previous day's night out with someone else. I called the cinema and my home to try to search for it and even went to the immediate neighourhood and common areas to try my luck. After she managed to resolve the issue amicably, all I got was : "Ok, the issue is settled. You can go home." I persisted to stay on for a while more and she starts feeling I am a pain in the arse. Maybe, I was really one and I did not realise it.

9.
hoho it's time for me to write u a
testi liao =) very happy si bo? ok,
here it goes. my another old fren..
haha.. use to talk a lot with her last
time.. she is very kind. willing to
help me and kelvin tuition.. rem bo?
haha.. kind hearted ger! i know she
has a very cute piao di, jeff. i still
can rem. getting more n more prettier
uh? woo.. heard that u r being tighten
by a big beast ar? haha! life must be
miserable for u.. beauty and the beast
si bo? haha.. time flies man.. kow u
for 3 yrs+ already. still buey gum
with ur sister? hmm.. anyway, wish u
all the best and most importantly,
stay healthy! u r a very gd fren! take
care n hope to see u soon~~~!! ; )

I found this testimonial a friend of hers has written for her sometime in May. The most important line reads as such : < woo.. heard that u r being tighten by a big beast ar? haha! life must be miserable for u.. beauty and the beast si bo? > It's little wonder who that "big beast" refers to and it sure does not speak too kindly of the person.

10.
Be told that I would spoil all the fun she would be having if I were to go with her. It would also not be fun going on an overseas trip with me. It's funny how all this was not mentioned when we were going on previous trips to Genting and KL together. If this is the case, maybe the best thing to do would be for her to live her own life and me , my own.

Which is what we are doing right now, I have spent a lot of time thinking and reflecting on what has gone wrong. 9 out of ten of the above incidents have happened in the past one month. One week has passed since we broke up, lots of tears have flowed and countless cans of beer have been drunk and it has reached a point where I feel little regrets. Perhaps we have been looking too much at one another when we ought to be really looking in the same direction. If we can never find the same common ground in 4 years from which we can both look in the same direction together, then I guess we would never will. Coz, we simply cannot look beyond each other.

First Times

2004-11-13T06:28:00.000+08:00

I guess the first time in anything that you do would always be the most memorable. I cannot deny it but between the first and the last time, there would also be other situations whereby you, me or him might choose to remember fondly. Everyone is different and you cannot assume that the first time would always be the most memorable. In the midst of this break-up, I did a lot of soul searching and a lot of crying and yes I mean I do cry. What's the big deal, she was a loved one and I had loved her and when certain things not meant for my ears were said, it does pierce my heart deeply. And yes, being a normal person with feelings, I do still cry every now and then.

Like I have said, maybe I should have let all this go a long time ago. Surprisingly, the first time she actually tell me that we are not compatible at all was quite early on in our relationship. I obviously was not thinking straight at all for I had believed that in a unionship, everything can be worked out between the 2 of us by constant commuication and understanding. Perhaps I had been too naive, I had always believe in one life, one love, a thinking that can be all too fairy tale like. Though she is much younger than me, I have always felt she was the dominant "male" in our relationship and I have constantly felt more like the "woman" in the partnership. I have always tried to give in to her thinking it ought to be the way a man should behave but I have never really attempted to control her. Firstly, I wouldn't have dared to because I do not want her to feel that I "controlled" her.

Perhaps this is where it went wrong, I try to balance the relationship by exerting an "emotional" control over her. I would punish myself to let her feel happy about it and we all know how this is only as good as the last dramatic one. You know how the "snowballing" effect works? That's exactly what happened. Two wrongs do not make a right and three wrongs just isn't surprising at all anymore. I'm a bit mean too but I guess that is the only way I can gain her attention. I only cared about not breaking up at all. Nothing else would matter, so I have been told was a silly and stupid behaviour by everyone I know. I do not know how much tears were shed between her and me but our fragile relationship would always be rescued in the end and that is all that matters to me.

There were many storms to be weathered throughout our 4 years of unionship. The last one and a half years were particularly trying as we battled crisis after crisis which seemed to appear every one month or so. Perhaps, it was a sign from somewhere to tell us to give up, perserverance is not going to lead us anywhere. I can still remember how the first times were mostly simple and easily resolved. It's the subsequent times in all the things that we do that become challenging and created a lot of conflicts. So perhaps, first times are not really dearing to me for I believe they can be easily forgotten but the bad times would keep you reminded forever. Being the pessimistic person that I am, I am forever thinking of the bad times and I might have disappointed her in many ways which I should not have done. After all, people like to be reminded of the good times and not the gothic bad happenings.

You know like the first time we went to take the cable car. That was an amazing sight and you can tell she's visibly excited about it. When you see your loved one so happy about things like this, you really cannot help but feel that you have done it right. We went back one more time but with her little cousin. This time, the feeling is a bit different since I felt like the 3rd party in the outing. It's no secret, she's extremely close to her cousin and I really feel at many times that I simply cannot compare to a little kid. This little kid seems to occupy an exclusive position in her heart which gurantees that he would enjoy unlimited care and attention from her.

Maybe I'm easily jealous but it really took me a long time to come to grips with it. Whenever the 3 of us go out, I always feel like I'm the "lamp-post". I have learned to try and take it more easily since I have known her less than the time she has known her cousin. I have always manage to convince myself it was her strong maternal instinct at work, in wanting to look after a little kid. I felt gratified my prospect wife-to-be would display such character and simply just brush it off. Till this day, I still feel her maternal instinct is one of her strong points but I would definitely have prefered more of our outings to be 2 persons rather than a 2.5 .

I always reflect and learn on the bad that has happen while she prefers to remember the good and sweeping the bad underneath the rug. You know a friend just told me recently, in a marriage, it is not how 2 persons look at one another but how the both of you would look in the same direction. For this first time, I have actually felt enlightenment in hearing such simple yet learned words. It really shed some much needed light on my failed relationship and re-assures me that I would have been better off in this break-up since we are obviously not looking in the same direction.

I'm a fire-fighter

2004-11-12T02:20:00.000+08:00

I have always feel that I have not manage relationships with people well enough. I had always given people a hard time first before I start treating them nice. Perhaps this stems from my personal mantra of experiencing bad times first before you can savour the good times or "xian ku hou tian" in chinese. Maybe, it is a case of doing too much of the same thing which starts to cause a strain in the relationships I start to develop with people. One of the most important one actually lasted for about 5 whole years. Guess I'm definitely no saint, I don't have to deny it but I know I can be really stubborn about certain things which can really turn some people off. You know how I actually behaved sometimes by just being so bad that people feel anathema towards me.

Maybe it is the duration of the relationhip that decides whether people start feeling it may actually be really hard to get along with me. I had never enjoyed fulfilling relationship with my friends in the sense that they know it would be extremely hard to convert and make me change my way of thinking if I have already made up my mind. So what do they do?...they are just my friends so just live and let live why bother right? But lucky for me, they do remember the good I have done for them sometimes and so I'm let off the hook everytime.

I only have myself to blame sometimes when I sound too stern talking to people. My tuition students have complained before and perhaps it is the nature of the role that I'm playing which requires me to enforce a certain level of respect in a teacher and student relationship. Most are fine with that except for the girl students whom usually prefers to show me an attitude instead. I never thought much of that until now when a 5 year relationship has to come to nought. You know reflection can only do so much but it is important since it helps to maintain the delicate balance of our states of mind.

The gifts I have showered on people have always been genuine like the times I buy each and every one of my students a farewell gift before I quit tuition to enter the workforce. I really felt the emotion when I gave them the gifts but held back my tears for it would really be silly to be crying. They had afterall allowed me to earn a living off them for more than 3 years and whether they had learned anything off me for their own good or not. For better or worse, I had really been the only one who had profited monetarily in this relationship.

The same thing applies in my 5 year relationship. I have been told I'm not genuine at all since I buy gifts for her only when things start turning sour. Perhaps this is where my firefighting mentality shows up but I have always tried my best to be a decent boyfriend helping out with work and everything else. I agree most of the more expensive gifts have their origins in the settling of our disagreements. But there are definitely times where I bought her a gift because I truly appreciate what she has done for me. Like the swaroski double ring with blue and pink crystals, I was really gratified by her actions which really push me to part with quite a bit of money so I can show her I really appreciated what she had done for me. I don't know whether she knows it or not but it was really a special day for me.

Enough said about these things, it is not going to change a single bit about all that has gone totally wrong. I'm a fire fighter because I had not taken enough preventive measures to deter some of the things from happening instead only fighting the fires as they come about. Sometimes I can even let a small flame be fanned into something huge, so I must have been a lousy fire fighter.

Perodua Kelisa

2004-11-11T06:01:00.000+08:00

It's a funny thing how coincidence plays an important role in our lives. I took an off day today to reward myself for having been on the US night desk duty which really has taken a toll on me. I hardly had any appetite nowadays usually just getting by with one meal a day only. On my normal off days, I would have done something else like waking up as usual and sending my ex-gf to work but I don't have to now. Anyway, that's besides the point. I made full use of my off and had a driving lesson which I spent doing the circuit.

Lots of coincidences since I would usually end my driving lesson beneath my block and I would just come home straight after. But no, My instructor had back to back lessons and so I had to take a bus back myself from the driving centre. No worries, I took a bus back but it had to rain half-way and to make things worse, it became a huge downpour. I had just washed my shoes and it had to rain like that? Fine...I would just spend some time exploring my neighbourhood then. There it was, the car I have always targeted was having a showcase at Tampines Mall. It was such a low profile car that publicity was non-existent and I had a hard time trying to find out more about it.

I went over and started enquiring about the car and to my surprise, the salesperson actually entertained me. I had tried on numurous times to ask more about the cars on display of other makes and was not being served properly. This initial contact started off a whole series of serious thoughts. I have always been doing my sums with the intention of buying a weekend car. I know I could never afford at this present time to pay more than $300 in installments for a car. This car is the perfect one. Because of its red plate, it fits in just nice with my budget plus the road tax is only $50 a year and CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!!!!

Like I have said before, my expenses have reduced considerably and I can jolly well afford a lesser car like this. My mind is made up right on the spot. There are lots of plus points in owning this car. Finally, I can provide a family car for my parents to ride in. (My family is conservative and not exactly very well off and hence has never in their wildest dream consider owning a car.) Family outings can become a reality now and my mum would not have to lament the fact that because my dad does not own a car and as a result my family is not close enough. Silly right, as if we are not close enough already but mothers would always like that.

Furthermore, the COE is falling like nobody's business this I heard from my ex-gf who was just telling me the other day. As far as I can see it, it can bring me immediate benefits and the sheer affordability of the car really wets my appetite. (literally though) haha All these coincidences really made my day worthwhile. What I need to do now is to get my parents' consent as a form of respect to them since this is after all an important decision. I do not see how they can dis-allow me since I have done my sums and written a proposal explaining the clean bill of health of my finances. This car is truly ATTAINABLE and I am not about to just let it go like that. If I get the car, I would not have to take the first train home after a tiring night covering the US market and boy am I excited about it.

Personal Blogs with personal feelings.

2004-11-09T22:10:00.000+08:00

There were definitely happy times spent during the past 4 years like the 2 times we went to Genting and Kuala Lumpur together. The Genting trip was particularly special because it was the first time I'm able to bring my loved one out on an overseas trip. It's a special feeling and I have always believed that it doesn't really matter where we go as long as I can just be with her. We had loads of fun taking pictures on the Ferris Wheel and feeling like we are top of the world. It was definitely worth all the saving up as the lovely weather on Genting with the clouds just amongst you was a sight to remember and savour. She was excited too because it was one of her first ever trips overseas.

It was a blissful moment as you hug your loved one tight and everywhere around you is the cool of the clouds which makes the warmth gained by keeping close together especially comforting. How can one forget moments like this? All the pictures we had taken make the trip even more memorable even long after we came back.

Kuala Lumpur was another one to savour for we stayed in this classy 5 stars Prince Hotel along Jalan Conlay. Haha...the attendents and hotel staff must be wondering how come two ordinarily dressed people like us are appearing in their high class establishment. Staring at the beautiful Malaysian skyline with the Petronas Tower in the background was truly a romantic experience. You know its hard to be doing anything else when you have the love of your life in your arms and just wishing time would come to a standstill and the feeling then and there would be for eternity. It was a bit disappointing though for we really could not stay for a few more days. Money was tight and we could only afford a 2 day one night trip. As I looked back, its really a regret not to be able to have stayed for a longer period of time. Not to mention, we also came to a conclusion that as far as hotels are concerned, if you want the best you gotta pay the price.

I had wanted to plan another trip back to KL next week over the long November weekend but who would have expected things to have turned out so drastically. I was particularly keen to spend some quality time with her since I was covering the US trading and had to stay up every night. When I go home to sleep at 7 in the morning, she goes out to work. And when she misses me and gives me a call, I'm half asleep and blabbering nosense to her...haha and I'm not even aware of all those things. Even calling her in the office was not appropriate since she has serious work to do while I'm just wheeling my time away waiting for my work day to start again at 8pm in the night.

Perhaps there were strains caused by job changes, for her, it's her second job after all and it's almost life and death for her trying all the time to carve a niche for herself. If her boss is reading this, he should take note of how wonderful a worker he has. I have after all took 6 months to land myself the current job and I should know how one will feel when she constantly have to think about not been able to stay in Citibank after her contract ends. The same feeling I had when I was temping around for 6 whole months. Believe me, she had never felt happier since she started working there, you can literally see the positive glow coming out from her. Me? I was becoming more like a night owl. haha with my eyes almost popping out like an owl's from having to stare constantly at the pathetic prices on the terminals.

Maybe it's the team spirit there at Citbank, everybody work and play hard together. It makes everyone feel like one big family, I have experienced it first hand for myself too when I temp for 2 months there last year. It's no secret she really want to stay on even though the odds of her doing so are not particularly high. I just wished her all the best and hope her Citibank career can continue.

Paradoxically Ironic

2004-11-09T03:04:00.000+08:00

Sorry I know I'm always full of nonsense but I really cannot help but think of this situation whereby a glass is exactly half filled and two person starts arguing whether the glass is half-full or half empty. Well, another 2 person comes along and they started taking sides with either the glass being half filled or simply half empty. And before we know it, we have 2 groups of people standing at opposing end thrashing it out on whether who should be correct.

The answer sadly cannot be found for if either side is said to be wrong, it would also not be justifiable. Soon, the confrontation turns ugly when one party starts arguing that it is always better to be full than empty so therefore half full should be the correct one. That makes half-empty stance taking people extremely angry since there is no clear basis on whether an argument as simple as that can hold. The argument intensify and people starts getting emotional and soon it starts getting personal.

Now, the original 2 heroes who started this great war of words have their mind all made up because their initial beliefs have been strengthened by the numbers who seemed to be able to align themselves with the 2 totally different stance. Even if we bring in a judge who would be seen as being fair and totally impartial, the verdict would definitely add insult to the party who's on the losing end.

Sometimes, people are easily ruled by their feelings, emotions and become judgemental even when there may not seem to be much basis for argument. Initial strong beliefs can easily instil the mind to start becoming twisted and coupled with peer acknowledgement can push a simple belief to an equivocation. If a person can feel so strongly about something, this person would never want to hear that they are wrong.

It simply bring us back to the start of the paradox. Half full or half empty? Nobody would be able to give an answer but maybe the trials of time would alleviate the problem. Since we cannot say both are wrong and neither can we acknowledge that they are correct, let the sea of time awash the pain and anger caused and slowly heal the differences with each passing stroke. However, there would not be any clear sole winner in this contest. It can be a case of both winners or both losers and isn't it ironic when it all started with just that 2 heroes.

Puppy Love

2004-11-07T14:58:00.001+08:00

Just like what a friend of mine had said...It was all a puppy luv. Guess that is why it has cut the deepest...mayb it was my fault too...still refusing to let go when the love is already so thin...to a point I have to force her to say such things which are so unbearable to my ears in order to get me off her back.

It hasn't been easy to just give it all up...since 11 Jan 2001 we have been together and we have come a long way...Maybe it should have been ended last year but I always manage to pull the strings together and the relationship lumbered on because I manage to convince her there's still hope...It could be a good thing too for I can't seem to get her to see my point of view and neither is she heading anywhere in converting me to her way of thinking. My hope was still strong every time I try to rescue a bit here and there but it seems to have reached a point where certain things had been said and it has become clear that the lovely feeling has just slipped away. We parted finally on 6 Nov 2004 : 3yrs 10 mths and 5 days...

I seemed to be holding her back...you know something is wrong when your relationship has suddenly become a cladestine operation...and I was silly enough to accept something like that for close to a month...Isn't it obvious how I cannot be allowed to intrude on her life...never mind now...I can start saving up towards getting a car which has become a very distinct possibility now that my expenses have been lighten...I have always thought: wife and car...wife is more important so the car can wait but now I know why some men prefer their car over the wife...Have a car and you can have more women...Why bother about the wife then...haha

I still hope to settle down soon...my objective...wife, house, family and then car. The same sequence I have always believe should be the case...No swinging bachelorhood for me...that's just not me...Women?...I just need one....one who can build a family with me together...

Happy August 9th Weekend, Dull Market

2004-08-10T15:46:00.000+08:00

Had a very wonderful August 9th weekend. Shall decide to call it the 911 day and remember it dearly...Hope the weekend has been gd for evryone else too.

The market does not seem to be responding too well after the National Day...STI index is sliding lower and lower, breaking the psychological 1900 support level...News have filtered through as to who the new cabinet ministers would be and there does not seem to be much surprises...However, the market still have not responded positively to the news...

6 August 2004 STI down 12.95

2004-08-06T17:22:00.000+08:00

The market comes down after a crazy day yesterday. Most of the STI index linked stocks were up, today it is the reverse as traders and investors decide they want to reduce their risks exposure prior to the long weekend ahead. The market should pick up once again should there be positive news from...